Author: Salina

Dear readers, and supporters,

It has been long overdue since I’ve written in this space. You deserve a thorough explanation. But first, thank you so much for sticking around.

Between getting sick with Covid-19, familial duties and personal growth pains (yup, that’s right), health recovery and re-finding my balance for work, I decided to take a long break from parts of my platforms (such as this website) which I was struggling to maintain as a 1 man team so that I can focus on my main platform and so that I can foster the space for a better and stronger come-back.

Needless to say, you’ve been patient.

Yes, behind the scenes, I’ve been working on a rebranding strategy and by the permission of Allah, it’s going to be epic. Professional Female will no longer be called Professional Female by the end of the year, however, my intention will still be heavily growth oriented.

It will however, have a God centred approach. And I can no longer ignore this calling!

I keep growing every day and learning every day. What makes me unique as a teacher is that I remain teachable and truth oriented, meaning, I only obsess over what works, and if something works better, I’ll devour it to learn it, adjust it, remake it if I have to and have no problem adjusting my perspective. Truth is truth. Who am I to fight with that. Moreover, I always (mostly) try things out on myself first.

I am now in a space where after much studying, applying, and teaching, I have my chosen modalities – some borrowed, some adjusted, some created by myself, and whatever the hell I’m doing, is working. Whatever I’m creating, is based on evidence, truth and experience. And even then, it won’t stop getting better and more refined because I won’t stop learning.

Let me put humility to the side for a second. I’ve yet to meet someone else who is taking all levels of the self (from a neurological POV to a soul POV and everything in between, such as the ego mind or the energetic body) and putting it into a streamlined format where you can learn, apply, heal, and become. All of course, through the permission of Allah.

I didn’t take any mediocre 1-3 month courses that give me the licence to use my clients as trial and error. What I’m providing is years of accumulated reading, knowledge and experience and in my opinion, nothing trumps this. Moreover. I have sound introspection and spiritual discernment, in that, my knowledge in fiqh is sound and my methodologies aren’t outside the folds of Islam. Even if you’re not a Muslim and you’re reading this, I am proud to say I won’t make you rely on the universe which as a student of ancient holistic healing sciences I can tell you that this realm is for non-human beings which are harmful for us to interact with. And only pure, good and lasting things come from God alone. You will never find am avenue from which both good and evil can be practised except that this path does not lead you back to God. This is something I’ll delve deeper into as I launch my podcasts.

What you can expect from me, God-willing, is the truth. The sound and safe truth.

I’m even more convinced and informed about the mind-body connection necessary for healing and growth and how an all “mind only” approach is nowhere near sustainable, or even healthy and can perpetuate the stagnancy you feel stuck in.

Moreover, I’m even more convinced that the very immoveable type stability which people are looking for cannot be found anywhere except with the Creator. And as much as we need self-trust as human beings, we are also soul-beings…and we need to surrender to a Being greater than our own selves at times, especially when our soul feels impoverished. We can’t ignore this aspect of us. The celestial and immaterial aspect which quite honestly does not care about how much reprogramming and unconditioning you do, it has its own sets of needs and modalities to extract its impurities.

I think the thing I’ve become most certain of is that we haven’t come here to be near perfect servants of God for self gratifying purposes. As obvious that should be. We’ve come here to be near perfect, for our worship to be near perfect. For our submission (to God) to be sincere. Unfortunately, being created to worship God doesn’t feel enough for people. Part of my mission is to highlight the WHY’s, and change that. I cannot tell you, how much healing this requires, to absolve oneself of *that* much self involvement and self interest to become true, authentic and sincere, especially in our worship. Needless to say, one must get out of surival to enter true servanthood.

Of course, all this is not even a percentage of what my new goals for my platform will be focused on, but it is a tiny preview, and for now I hope that is enough.

If all this sounds good to you then stay tuned! There are plenty ways to be involved and up to date with my latest introspection. I am in the midst of building an academy and creating a community for like minded women. I’m also recruiting volunteers by the end of the year and building departments. And not to forget, the launch party for the rebranding of PF. Whoop! It will be epic to say the least.

Again, thank you for your patience. I’m back now. For you.

P.S. I’m having a workshop on SHAME very soon so if you’d like to come along to that then don’t hesitate to contact me through the website or the number provided on the poster below.

Best wishes,

S

Growth is the inevitable.

It’s one of those things that happens against your will and power. Whether you consciously grow or not, you will still experience growth. Because experiences stretch your perspectives and capacity to contain emotions of higher intensities: “good” and “bad”. Also, your brain is constantly growing and changing.

When you no longer want to play with dolls anymore, your brain is maturing, it wants to engage in more complex experiences to feel in alignment and to foster the space for continual growth. Believe it or not, this never stops.

Your brain gets more serious as we age and seeks more solemn goals, more meaningful goals, because our heart-which has more neural pathways than the brain (and therefore its own intelligence) also ages and matures. But it has always sought meaningful connection and safe, healthy attachments. So it will continue to do so and as you age and mature, you may find yourself seeking these more.

You are always going to grow and outgrow. And conscious development paves the pathways into the right direction, as you blossom in all these different chapters of your life. Conscious growth also accelerates your development, amplifying your character and mind.

Healing is a different type of growth. Healing connects us more to our hearts and our inner world: our subconscious and our cell memory. It allows us to hand over the torch from the unhealed inner child within us, to the adult in us, helping us to feel safe as we “do life” as a grown person. Healing is to help us find the safety and security we did not achieve as a child so that we can re-develop and see the world as it is ought to be seen, becoming more meaningful, sincere and emotionally mature individuals. This happens as we stop operating from our insecurities and limiting beliefs which we accumulate and employ due to our traumas. When we dismantle these, we operate from our adult self and let our inner child rest.

Consequently, we feel more safe and secure and become more whole beings. More complete. In essence, we feel at home in ourselves and at peace with ourselves, and that is the goal.

This means that when somebody gives you a constructive criticism, you do not take offence. Or when an opportunity arises, you don’t freeze when you should chase it. Or when somebody crosses your boundary, you do not hesitate to confront that. Or, when somebody tries to love you, you don’t push them away. Or, when somebody is crying before you, you can empathise sincerely. Or, when somebody says you’ve hurt them, you can say sorry without feeling defensive or the need to justify it. In all scenarios above you are either required to sincerely give or sincerely receive. This however does not feel safe for you due to traumatic experiences changing how the brain and body responds. Without healing you will be unable to deal with these situations the right way. You may resort to rage, dismissiveness and self destruction, or other hurtful behaviours. Yes, without healing, your growth and self improvement work is incomplete and dare I say, almost irrelevant.

In Islam, we say our religion is characterised by modesty: hayah. This trait is supposed to be at the heart of every Muslim, as it is one of the virtue(s) that enhances character and we know from another authentic narration that the prophet s.a.w was sent to perfect good character. In Arabic, when you break this word (hayah) down further, it breaks down into multiple meanings, including shame. So for example, when you wrong someone and feel nothing or you are too proud (insecure) to apologise, this compromises your hayah. We are not here to be oppressive or prone to hurting people. On the contrary, we are here to enjoin the good and forbid the evil: including the pain and disconnection we bring to others and ourselves. We must care about how we make others (the people we harbour responsibility towards) feel, and we must care about doing the right thing, and having the correct character to be able to deliver the right mannerisms. Sincerely. Needless to say, this is part of our religion. It is not just a moral obligation when incorrect mannerisms whether intentional or not, whether subconscious or not, can generate psychological or emotional damage in others.

Healing enhances the quality of your life and your relationships. More importantly, it improves your relationship with yourself and God. Because of our traumas though, you may find it difficult to sincerely give or sincerely receive, because it forces us to open our hearts which we have kept closed with defence mechanisms as attempts to stay safe. But this is just the child self convincing you that you aren’t safe as your body is stuck somewhere in the traumatic past.

Healing offers the space to compassionately “grow up” and re-parent yourself. Without disrespecting our own parents, they tried their best within the parameters of their own trauma, but the parental job is not complete. We must take over.

You are always going to grow and outgrow regardless. Whatever path you choose, remember to honour all your versions. Stay accountable, and now that you know better, do better.

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Today we are going back to the basics so that you can understand why self awareness and self development is nothing without accountability. In other words, you’ve got to be real with yourself.

Let’s start…

The subconscious mind makes up 90% of your brain. This means 90% of the time you are functioning unconsciously. Since your belief system resides in your subconscious, if you have an unhealthy belief system then you will unconsciously choose unhealthy things for yourself. For example, the belief, “I am not worthy of a high paid job” will keep you applying for low paid jobs.

An unhealthy belief system leads to a victim state of mind. To come out of this and change how we view ourselves, we need to take full responsibility and stay accountable. There is no shame in admitting we have gone wrong somewhere. Shame is the illusion that to be wrong or honest means you are less than. This comes from our ego.

Our ego can prevent us from coming out of the victim narrative. This is because our egos job is to keep us safe. If we, for example, have a an unhealthy belief about ourselves which says: “I am not important”, then our ego may drive us towards a career which generates a lot of respect, so that you feel important. For example, you may work in a praiseworthy sector like politics or medicine. Etc. You may not necessarily enjoy these realms but you will learn to excel in these departments and maybe even learn to enjoy them because it brings you a sense of importance and therefore, it makes you feel safe. Really then, what you are enjoying is the validation.

However, this is you, operating from a fear based place … an inauthentic place. A place which operates from the ego and usually, the fight or flight response.

This is why in order to really come out of the victim mentality and change ourselves, and transform, and be free, be better, we have got to really face ourselves and be accountable and honest. Even if it is to our own selves. Within the safe four corners of our home. Whatever the case, this is a personal responsibility.

When you’re a child, a trauma is just what feels life threatening to your nervous system. This can be something as big as domestic violence or as small as being left out in groups at school, or being silenced by older siblings. Etc. When you’re a child it is easy to feel threatened and unsafe. Especially if you harboured a lot of sensitivity as a child. This is how limiting beliefs and insecurities (which make up your belief system) are born, and then your ego takes over with the intention to keep you safe, leading you to chase things which will stop making you feel, “not important”, “not good enough”, or whatever beliefs and insecurities it is that you have developed. 

So it isn’t enough to use one tool, such as affirmations, to get out of the victim mentality. To reprogramme and recondition, to get out of the victim and survivor state on a mind-body level, it isn’t enough to feel better. You have to do better for sustainable results. To ensure that when you’re triggered you don’t de-programme or regress too much in your growth. 

What you’ve got to do is be ready to take your power back properly, but the first step is self awareness and honesty. What beliefs do you really harbour about yourself that are hindering? What insecurities?

You have to be very very conscious of your unconscious thoughts. Sometimes it won’t directly come up as, “I’m not enough”. Sometimes it could come up as the desire to do nothing, or too much. Remember that the language of the heart is emotions, so you’ve got to pay attention to how you feel and interpret that feeling. Sometimes, you may get thoughts which come up as, “I don’t want to get out of bed today”, or “I wish I didn’t have to do this task”. All low vibrational thoughts and feelings are rooted in limiting beliefs and insecurities which reside in your belief system … which reside in your subconscious.

So it’s time to get really conscious about your unconscious thoughts with the intention of not returning back to them. This is the first step to taking your power back, even before reprogramming … is to know the old self well enough in her thought and feeling processes to be able to make the radical decision to not go back.

Becoming conscious is necessary. Becoming conscious is the stepping stone out of the victim state of being.

With love & compassion,
Salina.

Hello readers.

I created this self-help guide this year during the month of Ramadan and I think it is still useful and relevant for those who want to work on their spiritual stamina.

What is a spiritual stamina?

It is the energetic backbone that keeps you not only connected to God but through the maintenance of this connection, gives you the ability and competence to withstand your tribulations AND your blessings.

That is correct. Blessings are also energetic and have a force to them which can damage your character if you are unable to accept them with gratitude, humility and more. This is why cultivating your values are pivotal. (Refer to the image above).

Best of luck in your journey,

Salina.

Xx