How I became a competent mother of 4: Client Chronicles #1

By Farzana X (guest writer)

Assalamu alaikum,

I am Farzana, a 35 year old mother of four. I remember attending a Yasmin Mogahed seminar few years ago, and she had mentioned how we must prepare for the tests in our life. She also mentioned to pray daily to build that mental fortitude for if we want Allah to remember us in our bad times, we must remember Allah in our good times. I remember thinking to myself that I am sure I would cope with anything, so I didn’t really put what I learned into action.

A year later I lost my dad suddenly and this impacted me massively, the aftermath of sorting inheritance out while family not wanting to give grace had a huge impact on me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I approached sister Salina because I knew I needed to take action into getting out of the mind fog, self doubt, questioning my strength as a woman, questioning the role of women in Islam and doubting my own thoughts. I was even scared of sister Salina because I was that emotionally weak.

My husband was against it as he thought it was all a waste of money, but I would tell him I was prepared to give up eating out, going on holiday, anything, just to pay for the mentoring sessions, so he understood my dedication to wanting to grow, learn and change.

Farzana

All this was impacting the way I mothered my children, the house, the relationship with my husband, it was a really difficult time for me. Sister Salina’s programme was the spark I needed to make the changes. I remember at the time of doing her sessions, the work Salina did made such an impact on me that I truly felt khushu (mindful concentration) and presence in my prayers. It felt like I had managed to silence my mind to connect to my heart. Even if that was just one prayer, it gave me hope that healing was possible!

Initially, when I saw Salina’s page was shared, I started following the page and listened to the clips and found it beneficial. I then approached Salina for mentoring, but found as a stay at home mum, I couldn’t afford the sessions. Gutted, I still kept following her and learning from her posts and videos. She then introduced a sale offer, which is when I made the plunge and managed to sign up for her mentoring programme.

My biggest lesson was that my voice is to be treasured, that speaking up for causes is so vital, but speaking in a way that others are willing to listen is even more important.

I learned how to be more confident, to take my time when it comes to finding who I am.

Farzana

Alhamdulillah, everything you read happened with the will and mercy of Allah, and I am in a much better head space and frame of mind. I am learning to connect to Allah more and more, and even though sometimes I get frustrated at how long it takes, I come back to realise that Alhamdulillah there has been so much progress made. I have learned that life is full of ups and downs and learning to accept the ups and downs is a blessing in and of itself . The healthier habits I have now is looking at my thoughts and not believing all of them and knowing as a woman, I am a strong confident servant of Allah.

Sometimes when doing the mentoring we don’t see the benefit of what it is that we are doing in the sessions, but once you follow through and keep on learning, you may find, years later, that the knowledge you collected in those sessions clicks and surfaces so many years later. I know this because it happens to me so often.

When it comes to change, so many of us have been told we need someone or something to come save us , but truthfully, you only need Allah and you need to give yourself permission to want the change (through the means He has given on earth).

Taking the journey to healing in your own hands is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself, your spouse, children, siblings, family neighbourhood, community and ummah at large.

Farzana

---

The above has been written by a client who worked with Salina. She explains what that was like and shares her account on the hardships she encountered and overcame through their journey together.

Edtied by Salina

How I became a competent mother of 4

Tweet