My workshop at Peckham Islamic Centre was a lovely and intimate environment with women of all ages yet the same determination and thirst to learn and grow.
I was honoured to have been the woman to facilitate this.
We started of with questioning what self esteem in actuality means and concluded that it’s a simple term to define one esteeming themselves or in other words: respecting themselves, loving themselves, valuing themselves and honouring themselves.
If one was confused as to what this may look like, just observe how you treat someone you love, dearly. And question if you offer the same kind of passion, time and kindness to your own self. Self love is not bubble baths and shopping therapy. Self love is doing what’s necessary for yourself to be successful mentally, emotionally, spiritually, ect, because you honour and value yourself.
Just like the food you put in your children’s mouths come rain or shine. Just like your spouse’s needs you are willing to meet come rain or shine. Just like your boss’s deadline you’ll miss your meals to meet … Are you as important to yourself the same way? Do you provide for yourself the necessary things to function on a healthy capacity or do you support everyone else around you, please everyone else around you but forget about your own self? Because this could be a sign of low self esteem.
We discussed many other signs in the workshop, but here are a few for you to contemplate on.
Signs of low self esteem:
1. You feel exhausted
2. You are irritable
3. You say yes when you want to say
no
4. The criticisms people make about
you trigger you quite badly
5. You constantly seek validation
6. You have people pleasing
tendencies
7. You can’t see life beyond your
family
8. You don’t know what your values
are
9. You feel guilty or scared to not
meet the expectations of others
10. You cannot bear the thought of
appearing inadequate to someone
you love or respect
We discussed how to put yourself first in a fair and just way to those around you. It’s so important to fill your cup first and then give to others from what’s overflowing. You are your most loving self and most giving self when your cup is full to the brim. Know when it’s time to take some space to recharge. This will look differently for everybody and that’s okay. We all have different capacities.
We also discussed how to rebuild high self esteem through rewiring your subconscious thought patterns. Of course I cannot delve too deeply into all teachings of the workshop, but I will leave you with the same question I asked these women: who are you when nobody calls you mum, and nobody calls you wife, and nobody calls you daughter, and nobody calls you sister, and nobody calls you their staff. Who is it that’s left behind? What are her personal beliefs, thought processes, expectations, standards and values? What does she represent? What is she passionate about? If you don’t know the answer to this question, perhaps it’s worth considering to start living for yourself too.
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A special thanks to Nabeela, student and function organiser from Peckham Islamic Centre for making this lovely workshop take place. Xoxo
A heartfelt prayer for those who attended, thank you for participating and all the best. Xoxo
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If you would like to come to my next workshop and delve into these ideas deeper, please check out my previous post: Sacred Space.
If you would like to work with me 1-1 please check out the mentoring tab on my website.
All the best.
S
Professional Female 